Pain

This morning I awoke 

What an amazing blessing 

To be presented with a tremendous 

Present

In all its brilliance 

Astonishingly I was willing to forfeit it all

Deprivation is emphasizes abandonment 

A mental state that created an adult living as a captive child

Ah, but who am I...

To decide...

Who am I...

To force that discussion 

Who and what

Gave me the right...

Or the privilege for that matter

The audacity to believe...

I had the right to be loved

I had the right to be cherished

I had a right to conquer 

Not only those things but had the right to forfeit 

All of the magnificent wonders

That had been so gracious bestowed upon me 

For thoughts that continously rejuvenates

Within the consciousness of my spirit 

From the presence of an imperfect soul

Where is my value of life

Where is my care towards humanity 

What imitation and of who am I imitating 

When...

Spewing the same poisonous venom 

Nah you can't relate 

Your I understand...

Shear sarcasm...

I know because these issues I face...

These ain't your burdens I'm carrying

These...

These are mine...

And I'm telling you...

I....

My days are lonely even with everyone around

Forgeing on as if no days are cloudy 

Continuing on with the expectations

That in spite of...

Sunny days will soon return 

In a deceitful world in love with itself 

Having conceptualized intercourse

Forgoing understanding 

To prioritize the importance of the many

When I'm not allowed 

To be a participant in their few

My struggles...

Are individual struggles 

Known only to myself and Jehovah 

My worries and tears

Are manifested and displayed 

Only to myself and Jehovah